This is not the first letter I’ve written to you. The first was about twenty-eight years ago when I was eight-years-old. I know that it never made its way to you, because I didn’t put a stamp on it and I simply wrote “Michael Jackson” on the envelope. I wrote to you about how I was bullied in school and I felt lonely. I’m not sure why, at such an early time in my life, I felt I should write to you about this. At that time I mainly knew you for the music that I loved.
As I got older, I began to learn and understand more about you. By the time I was in my early teens I knew about your giving, caring and loving nature. And I also saw that you were bullied by the media, despite all of the good that you did. I couldn’t understand why people wanted to treat you so badly when you’d done nothing to deserve it, and I also empathized with you. I knew the same pain, and I knew that you had to have felt it on a much greater scale than I did.
I will never forget the first time I saw you perform Will You Be There. It was on the MTV 10th Anniversary special. Your emotion was raw and honest. Your vulnerability was on display, and I melted as I saw a tear creep from your eye and slip down your cheek.
When I was fifteen, I was shocked to hear the allegations against you. I had friends who—although they didn’t believe the allegations—said that they weren’t really surprised by them, because of the time that you spent with children. Nothing had ever entered my mind other than childlike innocence. It pained me that something so innocent, pure and selfless on your part was turned around on you in such a cruel way. I felt (and still feel) the need to defend you, because those lies were terribly unfair.
I’ve suffered with pain. Bullied throughout school, I always felt lonely, like an outsider, and that I didn’t belong. Coming home was never better, as there wasn’t love in my family. When people were yelling at each other, I would hide in my bedroom and listen to your music. Your music could always help me escape. A lot of people don’t really understand why my heart is so full of you, but for me it’s easy. Although you could have never known, you were there for me when no one else was. I saw your beauty and all of the love that shone from you. I couldn’t understand how so many were so blind to it.
You were an amazing person in so many ways. As time went on all of the hurt and betrayal against you began to take its toll; your sadness showed, but you never stopped giving and you never stopped loving. You took every ounce of what God gave you and you gave it to us.
My heart broke when you left us. I cried that day and for many days afterward. Your presence in this world was gone, and it was so hard to accept that. You left us far too soon, but as a whole, we didn’t deserve you. Your heart was far too kind, and we broke it. Your love and kindness were of a magnitude that most people could not understand, and so you were so deeply misunderstood.
Although you tried so hard you couldn’t fix the world, but you left an undeniable mark on it. You have inspired positive change in thousands and thousands of people, whether it be by giving, environmental awareness, kindness toward animals, inspiration to work our hardest, or simply doing things with love. The world is far from perfect, but it is a better place because you were in it. You were God’s glow.
I also sent a photo from Patience:
Another lovely lady named Rita went to Holly Terrace at Forest Lawn, where Michael is interred, and she brought a tribute that I made for Michael.